I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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