hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
