I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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