Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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