a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
