so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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