he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You ate ashes out of my bong
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
