google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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