When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
