My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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