My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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