I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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