I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
