You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
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He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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