I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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