everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
