you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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