$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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