i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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