you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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