Don't make out with my wife yet
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
