You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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