The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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