i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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