he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
