I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
