so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
