So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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