sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
