i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
