Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
