Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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