I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
