do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
