drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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