Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
