I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
