am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
