Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
are you so shy because you have an std?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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