Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
