you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
