I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
