You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.