I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
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just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
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They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.