She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
