So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This house was built for laser tag.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.