Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
