Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
