She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
