True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
