Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize