last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
