I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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