plz talk dirty to me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
