my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
