You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
