I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
