:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize