All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
