If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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