every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
