people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
