Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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