who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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