For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
